Fucking December

I know its been ages but better late than never.

My life is full of such cliches at the moment.

I don’t even know what to say or how to describe it so instead I’ll just tell you how I feel.

Like there’s a lot of noise, a lot of constant, never ending back ground noise, and I’m trying to sleep but the noise won’t let me and I cannot wake up either because I haven’t slept enough so there are only two modes in my life: sleepily awake or wakingly sleepy

And all the time background noise is making me dream bad dreams and think ugly thoughts and there’s no where to go but inside, inwards, towards the center, where there’s something even darker that I really, really, really don’t want to deal with, ever.

Sometimes memories, even the good ones are painful. The better the memories the more they hurt.

Can’t. Won’t. SHAN’T.

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